Columns > Money Dishonesty

Money Dishonesty - CS

Sharon Naylor - Creators Syndicate

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Avoiding money trouble in your marriage

Sharon Naylor - Word count 853

               Friends may laugh about how they went on a shopping spree at the mall and hid their purchases in the backs of their closets, but hiding purchases from a spouse is not a laughing matter. There's never been a more dangerous time to be financially dishonest with your spouse, as things are tough, household budgets are stretched and bills have to be paid. If you're indulging and hiding your buys, that is financial dishonesty.

               Any kind of dishonesty in a marriage or relationship causes a deep wound when the dishonesty is discovered. This is especially true when it is discovered in the form of collections calls, warnings about a mortgage balance or any other result that is a terrifying shock to the partner. And constantly living with the fear of being found out takes a toll on your well-being and your health, leading to anxiety, overeating, bickering or lack of intimacy.

               People often get divorced over money issues. They may lose their homes, their retirement money or their kids' college funds when secrets are kept about money.

               Tina B. Tessina, who is a psychotherapist and the author of "Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage," says, "Money dishonesty can cause huge troubles in marriage, including financial infidelity -- where one or both parties spend money out of resentment, jeopardizing the couple's financial security."

               Whether you are a newlywed couple or have been married for a long time, now is the time to come clean about your financial standing and financial habits. This is not an easy thing to do, especially when you have far higher credit card bills than your partner thinks, or if you've been tapping your savings. Your partner will be unhappy to learn about these secrets and unhappy to learn that you kept them out of shame and embarrassment.


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